THE VANISHING ART OF SAYING GOODBYE

    There was a time when manners, politeness, and etiquette were not just words, but living principles. Today, they risk becoming old-fashioned vocabulary, their meanings fading in the minds of the young. In their place, other expressions are gaining currency—often reflecting a rather different social reality.

    One such expression is “to take French leave.” Traditionally, it meant departing without saying goodbye, without asking permission, without so much as a word of notice—a small but unmistakable social offense. In earlier times, such behavior would have been considered a breach of decorum, if not outright rudeness. Now, it passes almost unnoticed.

   The phrase itself is a curious example of linguistic blame-shifting across cultures. The French, returning the compliment, say “filer à l’anglaise,” placing the blame squarely on the English. Spanish follows suit with “despedirse a la francesa,” suggesting, perhaps with a faint smile, that the French are the culprits after all. Each language points the finger elsewhere, while quietly acknowledging the same human habit.

    I am reminded of a different world. As a boy, before travelling to the United States, I made a journey to Valencia to take leave of my grandfather. The idea of departing without seeing him in person, without a proper farewell, never crossed my mind. It would have seemed unthinkable.

    That was long ago -and I was going very far away. Today, distances have shrunk, but so, it seems, have certain courtesies. One wonders whether the expressions remain as relics of a code of behavior that is itself slipping quietly out of use… or whether, in keeping them alive, language preserves a standard that society no longer feels bound to observe.