CONTRADICTIONS IN PROVERBS

 This morning I was merrily skipping down the street, trying not to step on cracks (step on a crack, break your mother's back), when an old lady shouted at me: "You are never too old to learn!" I immediately shouted back: "You cannot teach an old dog new tricks!" This must have dumbfounded her, because she ran away with her tail between her legs.

I then decided to cross the busy street, thinking, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." But then I remembered my mother telling me, "Better safe than sorry," and decided to use a pedestrian crossing. I waited for the light to turn green and remembered to "look before you leap." But I hesitated, and, as "he who hesitates is lost," I missed my chance to cross the road.

I finally decided to scoot home and forget about proverbs altogether. After all, they are full of contradictions.